Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?
While
digital
realm is enormously developing, it is largely seen that hours spent on smartphones are considerably staggering, especially by children. In Correct article usage
the digital
this
essay, I will examine the background pertaining to this
issue and elaborate on why I find this
occurrence as a negative development.
To begin
with, smartphone
is a vital source of Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
knowledges
. In the era of digitalization, one should adhere to the growth of technology being used. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
This
leads to the internet being heavily used in school for educational purpose
, in the case of children. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
As a result
, society might see these situations as something positive. However
, the usage of cyberspace being made by kids should be viewed as a concerning state. For instance
, minors are seen in news
that they are consuming Add an article
the news
medias
Correct your spelling
media
in
a large amount of time, which is not great. Evidently, there are several studies formed where they share immense rates Change preposition
for
in
Change preposition
of
digital's
consumption used by children, up to 12 hours or more. It seems likely that those youngsters will have Change noun form
digital
high
possibility of phone addiction as the prevalence might continue to grow. Undoubtedly, Add an article
a high
this
is not a positive advancement as we all know how medias
could expose Correct your spelling
media
misinformations
that Fix the agreement mistake
misinformation
are
prone to be digested easily, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
spesifically
by kids.
Correct your spelling
specifically
This
incredible increases Correct determiner usage
These
of
digital utilization have manifold causes. Despite the many factors to grasp, the most prominent one is no other than the cyber world continuing to enhance with no proper guidance of Change preposition
in
adult
. Owing to the fact that parents should have the obligation to direct their sons or daughters, it is quite unfortunate that the Fix the agreement mistake
adults
prevalences
of parental instruction is not strictly exposed. Fix the agreement mistake
prevalence
Consequently
, youngsters consume unhealthy amount
of hours Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
in
the internet, which can lead to harrowing possible outcomes.
Change preposition
on
To conclude
, I firmly adhere to the opinion of how the
phone usage is extensively bad for the growth of minors. Correct your spelling
that
Furthermore
, the significant cause of this
occasion, which is less parental guidance being there, should be addressed.Submitted by chocomoure on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, maintain paragraph structure by having a clear introduction, body, and conclusion within each paragraph.
task achievement
To better respond to the task, it's vital to directly address both parts of the question. Discuss both why children spend hours on smartphones and whether it is a positive or negative development with equal depth. Provide specific examples and further exploration of each point to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with relevant, specific examples. General statements should be backed up with evidence or scenarios that illustrate the issue more concretely. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments and demonstrate an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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