IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are enrolled in a study abroad course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider, and there is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: Introduce yourself and describe the problem Describe the accommodation you thought you were getting Ask the provider to solve the problem Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Mr. Gazeley

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Dear Mr. Gazely I hope you are well. My name is Daniele and I am the student who came from Brasil to the Medicine's
Internatinal
Correct your spelling
International
 Course, I will begin classes
on
Change preposition
apply
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next week and I was arranged, by you, to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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room 34 of the
accomodation
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accommodation
 office. I am
wiritng
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writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to complain about
trouble
Correct article usage
the trouble
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, the accommodation was not like I expected. In relation to
this
Linking Words
, I was expecting to get a room with 2 bedrooms, because my friends will visit me sometimes,
however
Linking Words
, to my bad fortune, when I got to the room I realized that I got a 1 bedroom accommodation.
Thus
Linking Words
, It would be very uncomfortable to share it with my visits. In regard to
this
Linking Words
, as you are my course provider, I would like to know if there is another accommodation
availabe
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available
,
the
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at the
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 same price, with 2 rooms. So
than
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that
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 I could move to it. I look forward to your comments on
this
Linking Words
 matter Yours sincerely, Daniele

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to include clear paragraphing with each paragraph containing a central idea. This helps in maintaining cohesion throughout the letter.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you expand on the problem and give more specific details about desired outcomes or actions you expect from the recipient.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your situation and requests more precisely, avoiding repetition of words.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by linking sentences and ideas more naturally using a variety of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Ensure your writing tone stays formal throughout the letter; informal expressions and contractions should be avoided.
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