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Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Summerise the information about honey-bee colonies and honey production by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#summerise #information #honey-bee #colonies #honey #production #features #comparisons
The number of
honey
-bee
colonies
 and the amount of US
honey
production
illustrated
Add a missing verb
are illustrated
show examples
 vividly by the charts from 1970 to 2010. Generally, the number of
honey
-bee
colonies
 and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
honey
production
 started dropping steadily from 1990 to 2010.
Additionally
, the
colonies
 reached the highest figure in 1980 weather the
honey
production
was fallen
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
. To get more details, in 1970, there existed approximately 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
colonies
 which produced 130, 000 tonnes
honey
Change preposition
of honey
show examples
.
However
,
honey
-bee
colonies
 of
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1980 occupied the highest number
whereas
 the
honey
production
 decreased to 110,000
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
.
In addition
, when the figure accounting for
colonies
 fell
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 3,5 million,
honey
production
 rose to 120,000
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
.
To sum up
, two of the charts drew a conclusion that those figures fell drop out.
Submitted by ngovhngoc on

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introduction/conclusion
Ensure that your introduction sets the context for the information provided and include a brief overview summarizing the main trends or features. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points made.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer and more logical structure to the essay by organizing information into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
task response
Aim to fully address all parts of the task. Clearly present and elaborate on the main features of the charts, making appropriate comparisons and including relevant details where necessary.
clarity expression
To improve clarity and comprehension, pay attention to sentence structure and ensure sentences are well-constructed and ideas are expressed clearly. Avoid ambiguities and ensure the information provided is accurate and specific.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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