IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

#plan #health #centre #b #place #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These maps illustrate the transformation of a
student
 building over 10 years.
Overall
, the dormitory witnessed radical changes with the most noticeable being the shrinkage of the
garden
 to add car parking and extend the
student
 accommodation. Inside the building, there was a
u-shaped
Change the capitalization
U-shaped
show examples
 hallway connecting (
Correct article usage
the amain
show examples
amain
Correct your spelling
main
show examples
entrance
,
bathroom
, living room and
student
bedrooms
. On the left-hand
entrance
 was a
student
 bedroom, followed by a shared
bathroom
. On the opposite of the
bathroom
, there is a kitchen, which was located between 2
bedrooms
 situated at the corner of the building. The living room was positioned
at the end
 of the u-shaped hallway, opposite the
bathroom
, where students can watch TV. Noticeably, There was a
garden
 outside the accommodation. Currently, the
garden
 outside the building, on the
left-side
Correct your spelling
left side
show examples
 of the
entrance
, was cleared to add a car park.
Similarly
, the
garden
 on the top was resized for additional
bedrooms
. Inside the building, the new en-suite was constructed on the left-side
student
 bedroom, opposite the main
entrance
.
Furthermore
, the living room was replaced by some new
bedrooms
 and the kitchen now includes
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
 area. Strikingly, other rooms remain intact.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction sets the context for the maps accurately. Mention directly that you are describing two maps comparing the change in the layout of a health centre, not a student building.
task achievement
Be more precise in your descriptions. Instead of 'the dormitory witnessed radical changes', it would be better to state 'the health centre underwent significant modifications.'. Also, clarify that these changes occurred between 2005 and the present day.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitions and conjunctions to improve the flow of information. For instance, 'Additionally,' or 'Moreover,' can connect sentences that describe further changes.
task achievement
In the summary, mention all main features in both Plan A and Plan B. This includes not only what has been changed or added, but also what has remained the same.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs dedicated to Plan A and Plan B, followed by a conclusion that summarises the main changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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