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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the
population
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 four countries in Asia,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia, between 1970 and 2020.
Moreover
, it will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 their forecast of citizens
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 until 2040.
Overall
, the
population
 from five countries in Asia gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
,
while
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
got
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 some fluctuation before
finally
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up.
Country
Add an article
A country
The country
show examples
 that had the highest starting point was
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 with just above 30% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
. Ultimately,
this
 country
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the third position with a slight fluctuation around the first 40 years.
However
, Thailand gradually rose without any
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 more than 20% which forecasted will be in the
last
 rank of the total
population
. Both Malaysia and Indonesia predicted will dramatically surge in 2040, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
those countries sit in the first and second position, respectively. In 1970, there was
solely
Rephrase
only
show examples
 30%
population
 in Malaysia,
then
 will multiply more than twice in the future.
On the other hand
, Indonesia was in the lowest rank at the beginning with
population
Add an article
a population
show examples
 between 20 and 10 percent.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,
this
 country will push the total citizens
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 50% .
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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