The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #information #features #comparisons

There are two

pie

charts provided. The first

pie

chart provides details about the

energy

usage needed by most Australian households, and the second

pie

chart illustrates the

greenhouse

gas

emissions

produced from the

energy

usage.

Overall

, heating is one sector that needs the most

energy

while

water

heating is the sector that makes the most

greenhouse

gas

emissions

. In decreasing order, the six main

energy

usages are heating,

water

heating, other appliances, refrigeration, lighting, and cooling.

Furthermore

, the two largest of these are heating and

water

heating, which are about 42% and 30%, respectively. The other sectors are all worth significantly less, with other appliances at around 15% and the other three, refrigeration, lighting, and cooling are contributing less than 10%.

On the other hand

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

greenhouse

gas

emissions

are mainly produced from the

water

heating sector, which accounts for around 32%.

Then

, the next largest

emissions

come from other appliances, heating, and refrigeration at 28%, 15%, and 14% respectively.

Overall

, it can be seen from the second

pie

chart, that the sectors which produce the least

greenhouse

gas

emissions

are lighting and cooling which are all below 10%.

Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on Sat Jan 27 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions, water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

190 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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