IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about rail transport in four contries in 2007.

The table below gives information about rail transport in four contries in 2007.
#information #rail #transport #four #contries
The presented table shows the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transportation by train in Malaysia,
Canada
,
China
, and UAE in 2007. Generally, the figure highlights that among other countries, the railway transportation in
Canada
 brought more cargos than passengers, which aligns with the country having had the fewest
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 with
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 for their choice of commute.
To begin
 with,
according to
 the amount of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 that used trains as their choice of travel,
Canada
 had the least number.
In contrast
,
China
 held the first place with the most folks travelling by train compared to the other countries.
Furthermore
, it can be noticed that there was a significant gap between the bottommost country,
Canada
, and
China
 as the leading one. For that reason,
Canada
also
 had the fewest amount of passenger kilometres per head of population,
whereas
China
 maintained its peak position.
Although
China
 has always had the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 statistics compared to
Canada
, it was reversed when it comes to the figure of cargos carried by trains.
In contrast
 with the previous categories,
Canada
 carried more
cargos
Fix the agreement mistake
cargo
show examples
 than
China
.
However
, the difference between the numbers is not as notable as the prior categories.
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: