Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping is considered to be one of the

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

pastimes for the younger generation at present times.

This

has increased post-COVID, as schools and colleges started online classes. There are various reasons and explanations for

this

topic.

This

essay will discuss them and different ways to include themselves in other

activities

. Online and offline shopping has become a trend and it is because of various products introduced in the market. Social media is one of the reasons behind

this

as influencers are targeting

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation towards fancy products.

For Instance

, recently in Canada 12-year-old child spent 900$ on skincare and made a haul video to get likes on Instagram. Shopping is a kind of therapy for

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

people to

relive

Correct your spelling

relieve

show examples

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

work pressure. Parents play a vital role in

children

's lives and they have to guide them as friends and encourage them in other

activities

This

is the right time and age they can grasp information quickly

instead

of offering credit cards to do shopping.

For Instance

, In India, a couple taught their child about digital marketing as it involves online shopping as well.

This

way parents should divert

children

's minds from shopping. Shopping has become an addiction and

children

tend to buy products that are not useful to them. In my opinion, young

children

must be included in other

activities

such

as sports and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

activities

based on their interests.

Submitted by sunj on Sat Jan 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure the essay has clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be enhanced to provide better flow.

coherence cohesion

Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the points to be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize the main arguments of the essay without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

While main points are supported, they could be developed further. Ensure each paragraph elaborates on the main idea with more detailed explanations, arguments, or examples.

task achievement

To fully respond to the task, make sure to address all parts of the question consistently throughout the essay. Discuss both why shopping is popular among young people and whether they should be encouraged to partake in other activities.

task achievement

Your ideas are relevant, but to achieve greater clarity and comprehensiveness, expand on these ideas by explaining why they are important and how they relate to the prompt.

task achievement

You used some relevant examples, but aim to include more specific, detailed, illustrative examples to support each key point you make.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pastime
encouraged
useful activities
self-expression
creativity
sense of accomplishment
satisfaction
social interaction
bonding
escaping
daily routine
stress
instant gratification
pleasure
keeping up
trends
fashion
exploring
products
experiences
boosting
self-confidence
supporting
local businesses
economy
discovering
personal style
preferences

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Children have too much freedom nowadays. Do you agree or disagree ? Why ?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is , therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that it would be beneficial if employees worked three or four days per week rather than five or six days. Why is this? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.