Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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believe that money is spent too much on taking care of and fixing
buildings
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that were built for a long
time
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, so we must demolish those
buildings
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and build others that are modern. Personally, I partly disagree with
this
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statement for the following reasons.
Firstly
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, destroying old
buildings
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to build others that are much more modern can affect countries’ cultural
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value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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. Because some
buildings
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that were built for a long
time
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bring various values,
therefore
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, when
people
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demolish some of the old
buildings
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, they
also
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destroy the values that
buildings
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bring to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
However
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, some ancient
buildings
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which have
value
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are run down seriously, so
people
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must repair them but still have to keep their character.
For instance
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, in
Vietnam
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Vietnam,
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there are a lot of ancient
buildings
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that have cultural
value
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, but some of them are run down, so the local government decided to fix them but still retain their values.
Secondly
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, some old
buildings
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are abandoned and run down after a long
time
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without being used.
This
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not only affects the landscape of those areas
,
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apply
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but
also
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affects
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people’
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people’s
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safety. When the
buildings
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aren’t
Verb problem
haven’t
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used for a long
time
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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construction may be too old
,
Correct word choice
and, therefore
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therefore
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can collapse and make
people
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around there
injured
Verb problem
apply
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.
Furthermore
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, some old
buildings
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have neither architectural nor cultural
value
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, so those
buildings
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should be converted into modern ones,
instead
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of renovating them. In conclusion, knocking down the old
buildings
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and building modern ones
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
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on which
buildings
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they are, because some of them are countries’ symbols.

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structure
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development
Expand and clarify your ideas. Make sure that each point is fully developed and explained, so the reader understands how it relates to the main topic.
examples
Use specific examples to support your points. Specific examples make your argument more convincing and relevant.
cohesion
Work on linking ideas within and between paragraphs using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.
task response
Address the task prompt more directly and develop a stronger argument for your position. Make sure to cover all parts of the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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