Using computers everyday has more negative effect than positive on children. do you agree or disagree with this notion
It is undeniable that technology plays a crucial role in today's
life
. One of the most crucial innovation
like Change to a plural noun
innovations
computer
, Change the article
the computer
surpass
all the other inventions and almost everyone is using it regularly. The kids are more Change the verb form
surpasses
addictive
to screens Replace the word
addicted
as a result
, they have more deterimental effets
on them Correct your spelling
detrimental effects
such
as health problems.
To commence with, the continuous use of the
one thing in Correct article usage
apply
life
becomes harmful at some stage of life
and even the same with laptops as when young
generation becomes more reliable on Correct article usage
the young
this
electronic device it lead
to sedentary lifestyles in children,contributing to health issues like obesity Change the verb form
leads
as well as
vision problem such
as eye strain.
Moreover
, utilising enormous
amount of time on computers creates Add an article
an enormous
the
disturbance in their daily routine Correct article usage
a
due to
this
they spend very less
time with their friends and families Correct word choice
little
as a result
it weaker the bonding between them.Furthermore
, juveniles becomes
more Change the verb form
become
introvert
in their Replace the word
introverted
life
due to
the absence of physically
outer world communication.
Change the word
physical
However
, there are certain benefits such
as it helps to increase the
knowledge which Correct article usage
apply
further
helpful in choosing the great career ahead but I believe that it Add a missing verb
is further
hinder
the Change the verb form
hinders
pupils
ability to think critically.
In conclusion, Change to a genitive case
pupil's
pupils'
although
computers have
advantageous for kids to enhance their knowledge, we Verb problem
are
could not
ignore the adverse effects of using them for Wrong verb form
cannot
long
time Change the article
a long
such
as health issues.Submitted by sunnygarg710 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be connected with appropriate linking words.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points by providing detailed examples and explanations. Your arguments need to be more convincing with specific details rather than general statements.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument even if you have a strong opinion. Compare the positive and negative effects and give relevant examples.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures. Avoid repeating the same words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and ensure the accuracy of your language. Including complex sentence structures can also help demonstrate your language ability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.