In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?
Buying a
house
instead
of renting one
is more vital for people
in some countries. People
do not want to rent a living place
because they do not want to pay rent longer period nor they do not need to move any time when their landlord
requests them to leave the house
. I strongly believe that,
it is a positive notion.
On the Remove the comma
apply
one
hand, people
usually do not want to pay the landlord
or the owner of the house
long time. Despite of they never pay late, it is always a chance to be pushed by the owner to make them leave the place
after the contract finishes which makes them uncomfortable. There are some banks where people
can loan a large amount of money when they want to buy a house
. Furthermore
, the government convince people
to buy a house
with a loan. So, they will not need to leave the place
unless they do not pay the loan. This
makes people
feel comfortable because they do not need to move at any time. In addition
, they can get a house
the way paying money monthly to the banks or the government not to the landlord
.
On the other hand
, human beings often want to stay in one
place
without relying on someone such
as their landlord
or the owner of the house
. The reason they want this
is not just because they can stay in one
place
longer, but because it makes them happier. Additionally
, they can have better relationships with their neighbours in years. According to
The Commbank reports, the reports says that getting a house
is dream
of %90 of Add an article
the dream
a dream
people
in Australia. They believe that, when dreams come true for them, they have a comfortable life with a strong company with their neighbour which I fully agree with .
In conclusion, due to
increasing rent and having uncomfortable situations when people
need to move somewhere, people
think buying a house
is more logical than renting a place
. In this
way, people
feel more comfortable, because they can stay longer in their own house
by making Fix the agreement mistake
houses
a
strong Correct article usage
apply
relationship
with other Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
who live nearby.Submitted by matillazeyrek on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim for each paragraph to have a clear topic sentence and subsequent sentences that expand on that topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of your essay. This includes words and phrases like 'firstly,' 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion.'
task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the task, but do ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the question. While you discuss why owning a home might be important, you could expand your explanation of the positive or negative aspects of this situation.
task achievement
Try to develop your main points further with clear and specific examples. Instead of general statements, use illustrative examples from real-life or hypothetical scenarios that reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Structurally, your essay could benefit from a more distinct separation of ideas. Avoid blending multiple ideas within the same sentence or paragraph unless they are closely connected.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example