In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

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Buying a

house

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of renting

one

Use synonyms

is more vital for

people

Use synonyms

in some countries.

People

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do not want to rent a living

place

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because they do not want to pay rent longer period nor they do not need to move any time when their

landlord

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requests them to leave the

house

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. I strongly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it is a positive notion. On the

one

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hand,

people

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usually do not want to pay the

landlord

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or the owner of the

house

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long time. Despite of they never pay late, it is always a chance to be pushed by the owner to make them leave the

place

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after the contract finishes which makes them uncomfortable. There are some banks where

people

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can loan a large amount of money when they want to buy a

house

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government convince

people

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to buy a

house

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with a loan. So, they will not need to leave the

place

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unless they do not pay the loan.

This

Linking Words

makes

people

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feel comfortable because they do not need to move at any time.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can get a

house

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the way paying money monthly to the banks or the government not to the

landlord

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, human beings often want to stay in

one

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place

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without relying on someone

such

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as their

landlord

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or the owner of the

house

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. The reason they want

this

Linking Words

is not just because they can stay in

one

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place

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longer, but because it makes them happier.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they can have better relationships with their neighbours in years.

According to

Linking Words

The Commbank reports, the reports says that getting a

house

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dream

Add an article

the dream

a dream

show examples

of %90 of

people

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in Australia. They believe that, when dreams come true for them, they have a comfortable life with a strong company with their neighbour which I fully agree with . In conclusion,

due to

Linking Words

increasing rent and having uncomfortable situations when

people

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need to move somewhere,

people

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think buying a

house

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is more logical than renting a

place

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. In

this

Linking Words

way,

people

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feel more comfortable, because they can stay longer in their own

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house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

by making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with other

people

Use synonyms

who live nearby.

Submitted by matillazeyrek on Sun Jan 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim for each paragraph to have a clear topic sentence and subsequent sentences that expand on that topic.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of your essay. This includes words and phrases like 'firstly,' 'moreover,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion.'

task achievement

Your essay adequately addresses the task, but do ensure that your response fully answers all parts of the question. While you discuss why owning a home might be important, you could expand your explanation of the positive or negative aspects of this situation.

task achievement

Try to develop your main points further with clear and specific examples. Instead of general statements, use illustrative examples from real-life or hypothetical scenarios that reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

Structurally, your essay could benefit from a more distinct separation of ideas. Avoid blending multiple ideas within the same sentence or paragraph unless they are closely connected.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is positive or negative situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgerie. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

Some people say that it is. A waste of time to learn literature such as a novel and poems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?

What do you think is the best way to find a job: by gaining more knowledge and education or through more practical skills? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.