Some people think it is a better way to leave their own country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think that staying in their own country is better choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
todays
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today's
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world , everyone
driven
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is driven
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
opportunities
and
better
Correct article usage
a better
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lifestyle . Some
people
state that moving abroad gives them more
opportunities
in
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for
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work and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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their living
standard
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standards
show examples
.
However
, others believe that there is no need to move somewhere else to make their
life
better . I will discuss both views in
this
essay and give my opinion in the end.
Primarly
Correct your spelling
Primarily
, there is no doubt that moving to another
country
provides
better
Correct article usage
a better
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salary even with
less qualification
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fewer qualifications
show examples
and makes
life
better.
For instance
, most
of
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apply
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farmers from
india
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India
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moving
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move
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to
canada
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Canada
show examples
because of better pay
rate
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rates
show examples
and
provide
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to provide
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finacial
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financial
support to
the
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their
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family
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families
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.
Thus
,
people
without any high
qualification
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qualifications
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getting
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get
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good
raise
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raises
show examples
and afford
better
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a better
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quality
life
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of life
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by providing
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
support to family.
Therefore
,
this
proves that moving to another nation
also
comes with good
opportunities
.
Other
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Another
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side of folks
also
believe
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believes
show examples
that
people
could
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
better
life
in their own
country
with good
opportunities
.
For example
,
people
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in their own
country
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the golden opportunity to utilize the
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
support from their parents and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
strong references from their
realitives
Correct your spelling
relatives
or friends which help them to find
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
direction towards their career and make it easy for them .
Thus
,
instead
of finding
opportunities
in
strange
Add an article
a strange
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world ,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
best for
people
to find better jobs here which improve their lifestyle. In conclusion ,
i
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I
show examples
believe that if
person
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a person
show examples
use
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uses
show examples
the sources and references and
put
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puts
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into
Correct pronoun usage
them into
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real
life
then
you do
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
need to move to another
country
to make your
life
better .
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
recommend
people
have the privilege of knowledge about the place they
known
Wrong verb form
know
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and
connections
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the connections
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they have which help in their job
as well as
in their lifestyle.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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Task Achievement
Develop your main points further with more specific examples and reasoning. This will help make the ideas clearer and the arguments more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas by using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
Language
Proofread to avoid grammatical errors and improve the accuracy of the language used throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emigrate
  • expatriate
  • cultural assimilation
  • economic prospects
  • nostalgia
  • sense of belonging
  • diaspora
  • uproot
  • global mobility
  • skilled migration
  • patriotism
  • brain drain
  • work-life balance
  • job market
  • cultural heritage
  • cost of living
  • standard of living
  • national identity
  • social support networks
  • professional development
  • multiculturalism
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