IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2020.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2020.
#percentage #teachers #six #uk
The provided bar chart depicts the comparison of the role as a teacher of
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
man
 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 in six types of educational places in 2010 in the area of United Kingdom. A glance at the bar chart makes it clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
slightly more women worked in a school than
men
.
Additionally
, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high education places
such
 as
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 ranked first
than
Change preposition
among
show examples
 women.It is interesting to note that,in a college the percentage of both sexes was equal. Turning to school places where
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 worked more than
men
, it is clearly seen that in a nursery
man
 could not work as
succefully
Correct your spelling
successfully
 as
woman
Add an article
a woman
show examples
.In a primary
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 ranked first,by comparison, just 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males taught the children,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 shows that there were 8 times
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as many females
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
men
. Focusing
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the details of
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 and
universite
Correct your spelling
universities
 where
Add an article
a man
the man
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 got a high percentage, it can be clearly observed that in private training
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
institute
Add a comma
institute,
show examples
 more
men
 worked compared to women.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 females got
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost the same numbers as males.
In addition
, there were twice as many
man
Change to a plural noun
men
show examples
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 as female.
Submitted by omarovaa.access on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words man, woman, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: