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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2020.

The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2020.
#percentage #teachers #six #uk
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The provided bar chart depicts the comparison of the role as a teacher of
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
man
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 in six types of educational places in 2010 in the area of United Kingdom. A glance at the bar chart makes it clear that
,
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apply
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slightly more women worked in a school than
men
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high education places
such
Linking Words
 as
institute
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institutes
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 and
university
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universities
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Use synonyms
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 ranked first
than
Change preposition
among
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 women.It is interesting to note that,in a college the percentage of both sexes was equal. Turning to school places where
Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 worked more than
men
Use synonyms
, it is clearly seen that in a nursery
man
Use synonyms
 could not work as
succefully
Correct your spelling
successfully
 as
Use synonyms
woman
Add an article
a woman
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.In a primary
school
Add a comma
school,
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Use synonyms
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 ranked first,by comparison, just 10
percent
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per cent
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 of males taught the children,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 shows that there were 8 times
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as many females
as
Change preposition
than
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men
Use synonyms
. Focusing
to
Change preposition
on
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 the details of
institute
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institutes
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 and
universite
Correct your spelling
universities
 where
Use synonyms
Add an article
a man
the man
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 got a high percentage, it can be clearly observed that in private training
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
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institute
Add a comma
institute,
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 more
men
Use synonyms
 worked compared to women.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 females got
the
Correct article usage
apply
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almost the same numbers as males.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were twice as many
Use synonyms
man
Change to a plural noun
men
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worked
Wrong verb form
working
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 in
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 as female.
Submitted by omarovaa.access on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words man, woman, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational settings
  • percentage
  • representation
  • disparities
  • predominance
  • gender imbalance
  • societal expectations
  • historical roles
  • implications
  • trends
  • gender gap
  • educational outcomes
  • gender stereotypes
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • perceptions
  • effectiveness
  • primary school
  • secondary school
  • nursery
  • university
  • further education
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