IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every years several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if they are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 day and age, Most
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 already
become
Verb problem
apply
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disappeared and
remainder
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the remainder
show examples
 have
likelihood
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a likelihood
the likelihood
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 of becoming extinct. It is argued that several
languages
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 become endangered each year and numerous individuals align with the view that multitudinous
languages
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 are no longer crucial and their lifework would be less complex with
a limited
Correct the article-noun agreement
limited languages
a limited language
show examples
languages
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.I completely disagree with
this
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 concept and will discuss
this
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 in detail in the subsequent paragraph. To commence with, indigenous
languages
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 are
means
Correct article usage
a means
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 of communication and
necessity
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a necessity
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 for creatures like humans to preserve
its
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their
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 values, norms, traditions and cultures.
On the other hand
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, Each
language
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 has its own history, diversity and way of life with
a
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apply
show examples
particular grammar rules, phrases and especially
accent
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accents
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 which
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
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a certain tribes
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a certain tribe
certain tribes
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, and thereby existing of knowledge, information and history of ancestors.
For example
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,
according to
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 UNESCO Atlas, in
Nepal
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Nepal,
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 Vulnerable
languages
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 like Tsum, Seke and Nubri
, had
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have been
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 wiped out
due to
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loss
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the loss
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 of
its
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their
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 native speakers.
Thus
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,
Correct article usage
the
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loss of indigenous
languages
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 means
loss
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the loss
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 of scientific information and histories.
Moreover
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, To have fewer
languages
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 means to get a lesser
opportunities
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 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 difficulty in learning
a foreign
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a foreign language
foreign languages
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languages
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. It is rightly said that knowing two
languages
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 means
to possess
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possessing
show examples
 two souls. Bilingual or multilingual
people
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 tend to be broad-minded which is why they have certainly more problem-solving skills, decision-making capabilities and enormous
opportunities
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 in multifarious
field
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fields
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 of their
life
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lives
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 than
the
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apply
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people
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 who
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have.
For example
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, many Vietnamese
people
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 cannot comprehend English
language
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 proficiency
although
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 it is the universal
language
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, which hinders them
to have
Change preposition
from having
show examples
 advanced learning experiences and
opportunities
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 in a foreign land.
Therefore
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, limited
languages
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creates
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create
show examples
trubulents
Correct your spelling
turbulence
turbulent
 for non-native speakers and they would be forced to adopt a second
language
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.
To conclude
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,
Though
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apply
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fewer
languages
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helps
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help
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people
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 in their work life.
However
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, I affirm that losing indigenous
languages
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 decreases work
opportunities
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 and not
any one
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anyone
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 can learn a new
language
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 fluently.
Hence
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, it is important to protect and promote our mother tongue to avoid issues.

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both clear and sufficiently developed. The introduction could include a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines the position and main arguments, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the essay's main points and restate the writer's opinion.
Cohesion
Work on creating more logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.
Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it support that idea. Diversify sentence structures to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.
Task Response
The response sufficiently addresses the task with a clear position and supporting arguments. However, ensure all ideas are comprehensively explained and fully relevant to the topic prompt. Review the argument to ensure that the position taken is consistently and cogently supported throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed, specific examples to strengthen the argument. While examples were included, developing them further with more particulars would make the arguments more compelling and persuasive.
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