IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? Do you think this wiil be the case in the future?

#people #home #wiil #case #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most individuals nowadays have a sense of insecurity both at home and outdoors. I think that some reasons critically outweigh the rest, so let’s deep dive into the most significant ones. At
first,
individuals may not feel safe at home
due to
 the presence of domestic violence or abusive relationships.
Furthermore
, social, and economic inequality within human beings
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to unsafe feelings in the daily lives of people. Mainly disparities in low-quality education, lack of employment opportunities
due to
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
 number of populations and poor wealth
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 raise social unrest and crime among individuals.
Submitted by nazrin.i.amirova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Make sure you provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main points you will discuss.
coherence
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use cohesive devices to help the text flow from one idea to the next.
task response
You need to expand the essay to fully cover the question, including discussing future implications as the prompt asks.
development
Use specific examples and explanations to support each point you make.
conclusion
Be sure to write a conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives a final thought on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: