Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Luck
plays a role in everyone’s lives and their road to success
. While
some people rely on luck
and believe that it is an essential factor to success
, others argue that hard work
and personal effort
matters
more. Even though Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
luck
can play
a minor impact, Verb problem
have
effort
is more pivotal to an individual’s success
because it is under their control and hard work
is necessary to seize the opportunity created by luck
.
Admittedly, some individuals attain success
without putting in much work
, but such
situations are uncommon, because luck
is not something that can fully guarantee success
. Luck
is a chance occurrence and there is no way of controlling it, it may come or it may not. Personal effort
and hard work
however
, are in the hands of every individual, and they can use it to create their future of Add the comma(s)
, however
success
. Therefore
most successful people worked hard to get there and overcome various challenges along the way. Their determination, tenacity, and hard work
are the driving factors that determine their achievements.
Even if luck
is to come to a person, it cannot help them achieve their aims in life if they do not put any exertion into it. For instance
, an individual being
born into a wealthy family is lucky, they have more economic freedom and Unnecessary verb
apply
therefore
they do not have to face a lot of economical
barriers that block them from numerous opportunities. Now it is their turn to use those opportunities to help them achieve their aims in life. If the individual does not Replace the word
economic
work
their part to utilize their advantages then
their luck
is useless to their path to success
.
In conclusion, while
luck
can play
Verb problem
apply
an
influence Correct article usage
apply
in
an individual's achievement, Change preposition
apply
effort
is more important, it is not possible to control luck
and work
is required to take the opportunity created by luck
.Submitted by ngocnamkhue.nguyen on
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coherence cohesion
You can improve the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and emphasizing how each idea connects to your main argument. Try to use a variety of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
It's great that you have an introduction and conclusion, but to improve, ensure your introduction more clearly outlines the essay's arguments and the conclusion summarizes them effectively, reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, include more detailed evidence and examples. This can include hypothetical scenarios, historical events, or personal experiences that directly support your argument.
task achievement
Your response is complete but could be enhanced by discussing the counterpoint in more detail. This will demonstrate a fuller understanding of the topic and show you can refute opposing arguments comprehensively.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Providing further analysis and depth to each point will make your stance stronger and your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
To score higher on task achievement, strive to include more relevant and specific examples that directly relate to the question. Drawing from a wider range of sources or adding more in-depth personal insight could strengthen your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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