IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
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In years to come people will not purchase printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 rather they will have access to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
information online
with
Change preposition
at
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 no cost. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 because reading news on the screen causes health
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
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 and it is expensive to purchase
phone
Use synonyms
 gadgets. First of all , reading news from online
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 through the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 exposes one to health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. To elucidate
further
Linking Words
,
over exposure
Add a hyphen
over-exposure
show examples
 of the eyes to the screen of
Use synonyms
phone
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 the
eye
Use synonyms
 because of the radiation that emits from the screen. To illustrate,
Linking Words
According to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 an ophthalmologist Dr Eke, working in the ophthalmology department complained that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of his patients suffer from myopia and
other
Change the wording
another eye disease
other eye diseases
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eye
Use synonyms
 disease
as a result
Linking Words
 of too much exposure of the
eye
Use synonyms
 to
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
 from cellphones.He
further
Linking Words
 advised that the
eye
Use synonyms
 is a delicate organ and it should be protected at all
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
 the side effect of using the website to get
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,it is costly to buy these gadgets and most people cannot afford to get one.
Also
Linking Words
, information from the internet needs data for it to be accessed which sometimes will not be
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for individuals staying in the rural area.Moreso, the aged ones are not technologically inclined ,they find it hard to operate a
phone
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my grandmother in the village
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
 it difficult to make
use
Use synonyms
 of the
touch pad
Correct your spelling
touchpad
show examples
 in her device, she gets frustrated trying to find the way out of it and
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end she
loose
Correct your spelling
loses
show examples
 interest
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the cost involved in buying a device and the challenge involved in operating it is the reason
publicated
Correct your spelling
publication
 materials will not be out of
use
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the notion of printed publications fading away as getting news from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is detrimental to health,high-priced and hard to
use
Use synonyms
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
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Coherence Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure, with well-organized paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas.
Coherence Cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly and provide a balanced argument, considering both sides before stating your opinion.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express clear and comprehensive ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed, relevant examples to support your points and elaborate on them to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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