Some people think dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any activities or sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part of the world believes that it is better to
leagally
Correct your spelling
legally
stop the
sports
that are
life
threatenning
Correct your spelling
threatening
,
while
others think that everyone has their own right to do
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
they want. I
also
agree with the latter part because it can be beneficial to some
people
.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
of
people
today speak out saying that they are against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
due to
the fact that, many
sports men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
ended up
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
their lives
at the end
of these activities.
In addition
, there are plenty of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
showing that thousands of
sports men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
such
as car racers and bike racers, ended up leaving their careers with serious physical injuries and ended up being dead or disabled persons.
For example
, my
cousin
Change noun form
cousin's
show examples
brother who was a bike racer back
then
ended up
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
his
life
during a
race
Change the verb form
racing
show examples
accident.
Nevertheless
, plenty of them
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
to do these
sports
to overcome their inner fears. There are some
people
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that they can not even look down from a simple height.
Furthermore
, doing these
sports
can
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
show examples
up
psychologicaly
Correct your spelling
psychologically
psychological
strong
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are facing their own fears.
For Instance
, My closest friend had
fear
Correct article usage
a fear
show examples
of
height
Fix the agreement mistake
heights
show examples
since a kid
therefore
, she ended up doing
Correct article usage
the bunjee
show examples
bunjee
Correct your spelling
bungee
jump to overcome her own fear which ended up being very successful. In conclusion, part of the society
strongly
Add a missing verb
is strongly
show examples
against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
hence
, many
people
ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
up being dead or
disable
Wrong verb form
disabled
show examples
from these
sports
.
On the other hand
, these
sports
create fearless men and women
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world. So we must give the
people
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
freedom to do whatever they want because
athough
Correct your spelling
although
we banned these
sports
we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
get rid of
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
situations in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make sure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. Try to include a thesis statement that outlines your discussion points.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents one main idea, follows a logical progression, and is supported with specific examples. Transition words and phrases should be used to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task response
Fully develop your arguments by providing detailed explanations and a range of relevant examples. Addressing both views thoroughly before stating your own opinion helps to demonstrate a complete response to the question.
grammar and accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range, and make sure to correct spelling mistakes. Proofread your essay to eliminate errors that could detract from the clarity of your communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: