IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
#information #cinema #attendance #australia #projections
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart provides data shown in percentages regarding the cinema
attendance
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and now, with predictions to 2010, divided by their
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, ranging from 14 to 50+
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
People
Use synonyms
 in the 14-24-
year
Use synonyms
-
olds
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 consistently become the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 among all groups.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 50+
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
 become the lowest throughout the
years
Use synonyms
. Starting off with a
group
Use synonyms
 of 50+-
year
Use synonyms
-
olds
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 that had 40% of cinema
attendance
Use synonyms
 for two
years
Use synonyms
 straight in 1990-1992 before increasing to 50% in 1994 and reaching its highest peak at 60% in 2008, which is predicted to have the same amount of
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2010. Moving on,
people
Use synonyms
 ranging from 35-49
years
Use synonyms
 old had a total of 60%
attendance
Use synonyms
 rate as its lowest in 1990 and is predicted to reach its highest
attendance
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2010, with a total of 85%, which is a sufficiently high increase. Same as the 35-49-
year
Use synonyms
-
olds
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 who watched in cinema ranging from 25-34-
year
Use synonyms
-
olds
Use synonyms
 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 60% and
subsequently
Linking Words
 increased between 1992 to 2000 before having a steady
percentage
Use synonyms
 in the total of 80%. It is stated that in 2010,
this
Linking Words
 particular
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 will have a total amount of
attendance
Use synonyms
 in 71%, which is decreasing from 2008.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the 14-24-
year
Use synonyms
-
olds
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 held the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
attendance
Use synonyms
 throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 and is predicted to reach its peak
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2010, slightly higher than 1996, with a total of 99%. In conclusion, compared to all four
age
Use synonyms
 groups, the 14-24
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had always been the
group
Use synonyms
 with the total highest
attendance
Use synonyms
 and the 50+
year
Use synonyms
olds
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had always been the lowest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, every
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 is predicted to have an increase amount of percentages in 2010.
Submitted by kinantiputriunique on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words attendance, people, age, group, year, olds, percentage, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: