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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some students prefer to live with their parents while pursuing university education. However, others stay away from parents what ate advantages and disadvantages of living in either way?

#students #parents #university #education
In
this
 contemporary epoch, some people reckon that staying in the same household with
parents
while
 studying in university is efficient in terms of economy,
in contrast
 to the past where people
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to go abroad for educational purposes.
However
, is it really justifiable? I personally believe living away from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
show examples
while
 pursuing
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 would be more beneficial in all aspects.
To begin
 with,
firstly
, there are various reasons
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why people
are assuming
Wrong verb form
assume
show examples
 that living with
parents
 is immensely worthwhile. The most accurate is about assured
living-cost
Correct your spelling
living cost
show examples
 and
tution-fee
Correct your spelling
tuition fee
.
For instance
, students
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to have a hectic schedule in class
such
 as seminars and lectures, and because of
this
, they often
forgot
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
 about their primary needs like breakfast, brunch, or dinner.
Whereas
 when they live with their
parents
, all meals and any homework are provided so all they need to do is just
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the capability of college
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who live alone is wider than the ones who live with
parents
. Living alone will broaden their opportunities to be independent, and train themselves in forthcoming obstacles in society.
For example
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have experienced living away from my
parents
while
 pursuing
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 in a different city to my hometown. At
first,
I genuinely felt pressured and frustrated to handle everything by myself yet still
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to finish all the university
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 perfectly.
In addition
, after completely
adapt
Wrong verb form
adapting
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new environment and having supportive surroundings,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 managed to sort out all of my responsibilities. I even settled to join some organisations and communities to expand my networking, since socialising is the only key to surviving when you live far from home. All in all, l believe life
wouldn't
Correct your spelling
won't
 end when you decide to live independently for university purposes.
Besides
, there is so much more to gain for your self-development
such
 as interpersonal
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
,
problem- solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, and critical thinking. Little did you know, living alone will give you a wide opportunity to be free and do whatever you want, yet still challenging yourself whether you could survive or not in the upcoming society.
Submitted by naurah.ar31 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living with parents and living away while studying at university. Your essay discusses the disadvantages of living with parents and advantages of living away, but does not fully explore the advantages of living with parents.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a clear and logical structure in your essay. Your introduction should present the topic and outline the main points that will be discussed. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be elaborated upon with supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, ensure that you summarize the main points of your argument and clearly state your position. The essay should leave the reader with a final thought that reflects the content and viewpoint expressed in the body.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional support
  • Financial implications
  • Self-reliance
  • Personal growth
  • Social networking
  • Professional contacts
  • Household chores
  • Independence
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Burden
  • Engage
  • Proximity
  • Conducive
  • Insulated
  • Opportunities
What to do next:
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