IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays a growing number of people with heath problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #heath #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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A remarkable number of
people
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 with different physical difficulties are taking
madications
Correct your spelling
medications
medication
 and treatments in various
ways
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. They are not visiting the physicians who
are usually treat
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usually treat
show examples
people
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 using scientific
methods
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. Though alternatives are helping
people
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 to come
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 sometimes, I think
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. On the one hand, there are some famous
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 and
ways
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 of
treatment
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
that have
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being
Wrong verb form
been
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 popular in recent
time
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times
show examples
are
Correct word choice
but are
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 not mostly using
scintific
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scientific
methods
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 to treat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patients
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.
Besides
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, the alternative physicians claim that their
methods
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 of
treatment
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 are old and
proved
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proven
show examples
 by
the
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their
show examples
 ancestors. It is very difficult to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
know
that
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whether
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 the physical immunity of our ancestors
were
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was
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
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to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 us or not. So, these
methods
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 might not be applicable nowadays.
In Addition
Linking Words
, the usual
doctors
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 have mastery in anatomy and physiology when other
doctors
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 are treating in their
ways
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 without knowing the human body properly.
On the other hand
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, usual
doctors
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 are losing their acceptance because of their business-oriented mentality. Some of them are treating
patients
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 only
for earning
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to earn
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 money, not for humanity.
As a result
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,
people
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 are going to unusual medications. If they try to cure
patients
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 with hospitality, the rate of declining usual
treatment
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method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 will be decreased.
Additionally
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
doctors
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 have options to test patient's physical organs. It enables them to prescribe more effectively.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
show examples
medical science is upgrading regularly. Whether the masses can use the positive outcomes, they will get positive results. Here, the assistance of
doctors
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 is primarily needed. In Conclusion,
tryning
Correct your spelling
trying
 alternative
treatment
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ways
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 is a negative development. It can be turned to positive development with the assistance of the physicians. Their cordial and
caning
Correct your spelling
caring
show examples
treatment
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 can attract
patients
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 to the usual way of treating
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay directly answers the question, stays on topic throughout, and makes clear arguments. Consider both sides of the issue, providing examples and explanations for why it may be considered positive or negative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Create a clear logical structure for your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow with supporting sentences. Use cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
Develop main points with specific details or examples. Explain how these examples support your arguments and make sure they are directly relevant to the topic. Avoid general statements without concrete evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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