In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Although
urbanization potentially improves the standard of living, I believe that Linking Words
this
may create several harms like raising the Linking Words
number
of criminal and environmental issues.
Mobilitation that mostly done by Use synonyms
people
who live in rural Use synonyms
areas
to urban Use synonyms
areas
in order to have a better condition of life. Unfortunately, it seems hard to earn money in a metropolitan city Use synonyms
due to
the high competition in the labour market. Linking Words
As a result
, they will have a financial threat that might Linking Words
leads
to criminal ways to get money. Change the verb form
lead
For instance
, Jakarta as a metropolitan country has a high Linking Words
number
of theft cases in public spaces and even public transport.
The increasing population in the urban Use synonyms
areas
seems Use synonyms
like creates
harm to the environment, especially air and water pollution. If there are more Change preposition
to create
people
in a city, there will be more users of transportation Use synonyms
due to
each human's mobilisation in daily life. Linking Words
This
will produce more carbon dioxide in the air which can Linking Words
also
have a bad impact on health. Other than that, most Linking Words
people
that not have a better quality of life when move to the city are live in Use synonyms
the
slum Correct article usage
apply
area
which sometimes near the river. The residue from laundry, shampoo, and soap that go to the river will create Fix the agreement mistake
areas
a
pollution for the water.
In conclusion, activities like urbanization will create negative development since cities already have a massive Remove the article
apply
number
of Use synonyms
people
. The growing Use synonyms
number
of humans in urban Use synonyms
areas
will give drawbacks Use synonyms
such
as an increase the criminal cases and pollution.Linking Words
Submitted by joyapakpahan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To score higher in coherence and cohesion, structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs containing an introductory sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction includes a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. Conclusions should summarize your argument without introducing new information.
task achievement
For better task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. Focus on providing a more complete argument that balances the discussion between consequences and reasoning behind urbanization.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and precise examples to strengthen your argument and to show a clear understanding of the topic. Avoid making generalizations without specific evidence.