Some argue that schools are no longer necessary because children learn so much from the Internet and can be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A group of people believe that formal
education
at school
does
not needed anymore Verb problem
is
due to
kids obtain an
abundant Correct article usage
apply
knowledge
from the world
wide web and also
can utilise the online materials for them to study at home. Admittedly, I strongly believe that those are the case, because in this
disruption of technology, the world
is changing to a more dynamic education
system that provide
alternatives for children in terms of learning.
The development of technologyChange the verb form
provides
,
has taken people to a multidimensional condition that Remove the comma
apply
giving
them a great Wrong verb form
gives
oppportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
in gaining
Change preposition
to gain
knowledge
, far beyond the traditional way. Young learners tend to gain information directly from the internet
, the windows of the world
, and apply the "theories" they get to their actual life
. Evidence of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
appears in my own experience; my third daughter in 3rd level of elementary school
can learn how to make traditional musical instruments by watching Correct article usage
the Youtube
Youtube
platformCorrect your spelling
YouTube
,
and exposing her skill in playing Remove the comma
apply
it
on Tiktok. Correct pronoun usage
them
Therefore
, internet
development gives a higher alternatives
for youngsters in gaining Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher alternative
higher alternatives
knowledge
other than formal school
.
Likewise
, specifically after the outbreaks of COVID-19 cases in 2019 and so on, the world
also
adjust
Wrong verb form
adjusted
their
approach in terms of transforming the Correct pronoun usage
its
tradition
face-to-face Replace the word
traditional
education
at school
to a video conference system that connects people just only sitting at
their own study room at home. One piece of evidence for Change preposition
in
this
is that lessons that used to be delivered at scholl
, in fact, can be implemented at home just like my nephews did; he downloaded the teaching materials, and Correct your spelling
school
watching
their teacher giving their ideas, even discussing just like in the classroom.
In conclusion, technological advances benefit society in numerous ways, specifically for children in gaining Wrong verb form
watched
knowledge
, not only from the formal education
center
Change the spelling
centre
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
from the internet
. Besides
, they do not need to attend the physical meeting,
but only need Remove the comma
apply
internet
infrastructure to make them study from a remote area such
as their own house.Submitted by thesisabri on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences directly relate to this main idea. Avoid adding new ideas or evidence without proper explanation or linkage.
coherence cohesion
Develop your points further with more detailed and nuanced explanations. While your essay includes examples, they could be expanded upon to show a deeper analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Strive for a balanced approach by considering and acknowledging the opposing viewpoint. This will make your argument more robust and provide a more complete response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and variety. Try to use a mix of complex and simple sentences appropriately to make your ideas clearer and more sophisticated.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.