In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Nowadays, just a minority number of the young population of some countries have a tendency to go to classical
music
concerts
or
or
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
play classical
music
. There are some significant reasons behind
this
phenomenon which can be discussed. In my opinion, It is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
idea to encourage them to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
classical
music
concerts
or even play
this
kind
of
music
.
To begin
with, there are some considerable factors which lead to a lack of
people
's attendance in classical
music
concerts
or plays
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
. The first reason is the lack of
time
. In
this
fast-paced life,
people
are struggling with numerous activities which do not let them have sufficient
time
. To explain it more, individuals try to boost their level in different aspects of life
such
as work, education and the gym.
In addition
, in our modern era, youngsters do not invest in these fields. Some countries are diverse and
people
acquire taste in other types of
music
.
For example
, Iranian
people
,
in particular
young generations like fashionable
music
instead
of classical
music
concerts
or play
this
.
As a result
, the more
time
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
ahead, the more young
people
might not like classical
music
. Having said that, youngsters can be encouraged to be present in classical
music
concerts
or play
this
kind
of
music
.
Firstly
, some classical
music
is rooted in our culture. preserving
this
kind
of
music
is a primary responsibility of the present generation. Not only they should protect
this
art, but
also
they should deliver
this
type of
music
to the next generation.
Furthermore
, classical
music
has a wide range of techniques which are entertaining and attract youngsters to a large extent. Adolescents can be entertained with
this
kind
of art
instead
of surfing
time
on the internet and social media which are harmful physically
as well as
mentally.
Thus
, human beings should be encouraged to attend classical
music
concerts
or play them.
As a result
, I think so.
Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each part should smoothly transition into the next to maintain logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and provide clear direction throughout the essay, which will also help in paragraphing and overall structure.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your ideas more vividly.
task achievement
Make sure to directly answer all parts of the question throughout your essay. It's important that you address the 'why' behind the trend as well as whether young people should be encouraged in detail.
coherence cohesion
Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea clearly, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exposure
  • Perception
  • Old-fashioned
  • Elitist
  • Financial investment
  • Competing interests
  • Entertainment options
  • Digital music
  • Video games
  • Social media
  • Cultural understanding
  • Cognitive benefits
  • Affordable tickets
  • Free concerts
  • Music education programs
  • Modern adaptations
  • Collaborations
  • Relatable
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!