Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Must
Correct your spelling
Most
people
who play video
games
, do it for fun, or because it can be educative in a certain way.
Rather than Change the punctuation
?
others part
of the population who think that Fix the agreement mistake
other parts
this
Change the determiner
these
games
have a harmful effect. In my opinion, the number of people
who play videos
Change the noun form
video
games
many time
is increasing and Fix the agreement mistake
times
i
think that it promotes bad Change the capitalization
I
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
on
humans.
First of all, nowadays, lots of Change preposition
to
people
are playing videos
Change the noun form
video
games
in their free time. It is true that a multitude of different games
have
been created, like educative, having to Change the verb form
has
result
problems etc… In Add the preposition
result in
result from
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
this
encourages people
to play them because everyone is able to find a game for themself. For instance
, recently my teacher said to our class that it is possible to play at
a Change preposition
apply
video
game create
for learning about mathematics.
Playing a lot of Wrong verb form
created
video
games
is spending hours on a scream
, which is not good for human health, Correct your spelling
screen
besides
there is a tendency to not stop because it is addictive. Correct word choice
apply
Also
, it can create attention troubles in class, when you try to concentrate yourself. To illustrate this
argument, not a long time ago, a study conducted by the University of London, published by the Scientific Gazate proves that 90% of the public who are playing video
games
can not stop themself and do not put limits on it.
In conclusion, even that
many Correct word choice
though
people
are considering
Wrong verb form
consider
videos
Change the noun form
video
games
very importante
, educative and Correct your spelling
important
benefic
for our society. But, for the majority of the Replace the word
beneficial
population
it causes bad effects and bad repercussions.Add a comma
population,
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task achievement
Try to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing the benefits and drawbacks of video games.
general
Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors to enhance the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Develop your points more fully by explaining how and why video games can have positive or negative effects.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.