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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the past few
decades
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decades,
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 there has been a significant rate of increase in split marriages.
This
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 essay will discuss the modern-day problem of divorce,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 present the reasons and tips on
this
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 dark
topic
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.
Firstly
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, there has been an upsetting amount of divorces in the past twenty years, yet the problem always lies
between
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in
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 the couples' financial
income
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. To start with, the most important role in a healthy marriage is stable financial
income
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. Money has had a big effect on people and when finances come to an issue, usually partners are too uncomfortable to talk about the
topic
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 of money.
For example
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, I have seen a situation relevant to
this
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. My cousin was married and had a
new-born
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newborn
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. She did not have a job since she got pregnant and that was a big issue in the marriage
,
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apply
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 because the only source of
income
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 was from the husband.
Consequently
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, one possible reason
as to
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apply
show examples
why marriages break up so fast is because of the financial
income
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.
However
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, there is always a possible solution to a healthy marriage, and one thing recommended is couples
therapy
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. It has been known that counseling is a taboo
topic
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 and
this
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 has a pivotal role in society. There should be no
such
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 thing as being embarrassed to attend couples’
therapy
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.
For instance
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, couples should be more open to attending
therapy
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 and discuss what are the reasons for a failing relationship.
In addition
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, people should be more educated about the help a specialist can offer.
Therefore
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, it is always easier to go with the simple path and break up, but trying and putting in effort should be the way to a healthy connection . In conclusion, it is believed that most marriages experience a rough patch because of financial instability
,
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apply
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 since it is a stressful and bitter
topic
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. Despite the negative side, a solution to
this
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 problem could be
couples’
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couples
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therapy
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, which could be a helping hand in the hardest times.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Your response should provide a more explicit and in-depth explanation of the causes behind the increase in divorce rates, as well as a wider range of solutions to mitigate the issue. Including a variety of examples and elaborating more on them would also benefit your score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improving Coherence and Cohesion can be accomplished by organizing your ideas more effectively. Although you have a basic structure in place, your essay can benefit from clearer topic sentences and better use of linking words to guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, develop your ideas more extensively within each paragraph before moving on to the next point.
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