1. Opinion Questions: In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people tend to think our planet will not be enough for us to live on.
Moreover
, many believe that
research
on
planets
like Mars should be more investigated. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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I disagree with
this
statement
due to
several reasons that will be outlined in
this
essay.
Firstly
, investigating Mars
instead
of planet
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
will be a waste of money and time. By providing financial
aid
to
research
Mars we will not be assured that it will work
,
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apply
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since no tangible results have been obtained from previous
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
that began a long time ago. At
this
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
millions of dollars and years have already been used for
this
research
, though no evidence has been found that living on other
planets
is safe or worth the risk.
For example
, Russia and the United States have already spent billions of dollars in
research
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
planets
since the 18th century, but nothing proves the theory that it is beneficial for people to live on other grounds.
Therefore
, financial assistance is not proven to be beneficial in
this
context.
Secondly
, the financial
aid
provided could be used for a better purpose. Underdeveloped countries are struggling with their living conditions, health and education.
This
shows that making planet
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
a better place to live on could fix long-term problems
instead
of researching other
planets
where to live.
Moreover
, financial
aid
for healthcare and medicine
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more necessary than
research
.
As a result
, improving education and healthcare would be more beneficial, than providing money for analyzing other
planets
. In conclusion, I believe that basic economic
aid
, including financial support, should be directed towards more important factors than investing in researching other
planets
, which has proven to be ineffective by wasting money and time
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Submitted by Estramarti9 on

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Task Achievement
Expand upon your ideas. Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to the topic at hand. This should include specific, real-world instances where appropriate, rather than hypothetical situations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences effectively to guide the reader and establish a clear argument line.
Introduction & Conclusion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, ensure they fully address the task by restating the question and clearly presenting your viewpoint. The conclusion should also effectively summarise the arguments made within the body of the essay.

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