Some people think that in order to solve trafic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in citeies rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, some
people
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think that to solve traffic and transportation problems
people
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should move to live in the
city
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rather than in the suburbs. In
this
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essay, I will
both
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apply
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discuss the merits and demerits of living in the
city
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. There are several benefits to living in the
city
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.
Firstly
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, some
people
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think that living in the
cities
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is more entertaining than the countryside. There is a lot of nightlife in the
city
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.
For
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example
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, there are
night clubs
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nightclubs
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,
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apply
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and karaoke for
people
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who look for fun after work.
Secondly
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, living in the
city
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can
also
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easily bond with family and friends.
People
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can find a place to catch up with each other easily.
For
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example
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, Hong Kong
people
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usually go to YumCha with their family and friends
on
Change preposition
apply
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every Sunday.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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some disadvantages to living in the
city
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. Some
people
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may be concerned
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
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seeking to live in
cities
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can raise the cost of housing. Buying
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same size house in the
city
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or in the countryside can have huge different prices.
For
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example
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, A 600 sq ft home in the
city
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costs three times as much as it does in the countryside.
Besides
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that, living in the
city
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can have negative effects on health. There is more air pollution caused by cars in the
city
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than in the suburbs.
For
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example
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, Some
people
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may get illnesses or nasal allergies. In conclusion, living in
the
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apply
show examples
urban areas is more entertaining and convenient for bonding with family and friends.
However
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, the cost of housing and health issues still bother
people
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who want to live in
cities
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. In my opinion, I believe that living in the
cities
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is more suitable for modern
people
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rather than the elderly.
Submitted by 68aimmia on

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task achievement
Your introduction should provide a clearer background to the topic and rephrase the question to set the context for your discussion. Ensure you have a clear thesis statement that outlines the structure of your essay.
task achievement
Develop both sides of the argument more fully. While you mention entertainment and bonding with family as benefits, and health and cost issues as drawbacks, these points need to be elaborated on to give a more comprehensive response to the question.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. While you give examples such as nightlife and housing costs, you could elaborate further, showing how these affect individuals' decisions to live in cities or suburbs, thus helping to solve traffic and transportation problems.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is well-structured with a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas between and within paragraphs. Logical connectors like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the contrary', and appropriate transition phrases will improve the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
A well-developed introduction and conclusion are crucial. Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, so make sure it is engaging and coherent. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position without introducing new ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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