In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some
people
believe elderly people
carry harms for the authorities, while
other
say Fix the agreement mistake
others
old
population can be impactful for Correct article usage
the old
the
society Correct article usage
apply
especially
young Add the comma(s)
, especially
people
. This
essay will justify why the benefits of ageing humankind outweigh its drawbacks.
On the one hand, having an
elderly Correct article usage
apply
people
possibly give
Verb problem
has
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
to teach
the young. It is undeniable that if someone has Change preposition
on teaching
the
longer time to live, they will have more experience and learn from it. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, the company usually have the
steering Correct article usage
a
commitee
that responsible Correct your spelling
committee
to give
Change preposition
for giving
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
for
the Change preposition
to
excecutor
and make sure all Correct your spelling
executor
execution
of
Change preposition
apply
the
things run as it supposed toCorrect article usage
apply
be
. Their experience can be completely beneficial for Unnecessary verb
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
to choose the best option for the long term.
On the other hand
, ageing
society seems like can create Correct article usage
an ageing
harms
for the authorities as not all of them are financially independent. In Fix the agreement mistake
harm
the
most of Correct article usage
apply
coutry
, governments need to take care of the citizens who Correct your spelling
country
are have
Change the verb form
have
the
financial threats. In Correct article usage
apply
this
case, elderly populations, they
will get Correct pronoun usage
apply
living
Correct article usage
a living
allowence
from the government since they are not Correct your spelling
allowance
allowances
in
Change preposition
at
the
productive age to earn money. Other than that, Correct article usage
a
this
population might easily get ill that
will Correct pronoun usage
which
also
create cost
for that country.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
costs
although
older people
with non independent
financial will create demerits for the government, their experience will be helpful for the young Add a hyphen
non-independent
people
in order to make decisions in any aspects
of life.Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Achievement score, ensure that you have a clear position throughout your essay, which will make your argument stronger and more coherent. You should expand on your ideas with more specific examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher Coherence and Cohesion score, you should focus on improving your paragraph structure by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. Also, aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to add depth to your writing and to convey your points more effectively, which will contribute positively to both Coherence and Cohesion and Task Achievement scores.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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