More and more people are moving to cities to look for work. What are the problems does this cause? What are the possible solutions?

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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
there is a
phenomena
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phenomenon
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that
people
who live in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
choose to start looking for
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in the cities. Why is that?
is
Capitalize word
Is
show examples
working in the city more appealing? Most
people
in my
country
will say yes to that. In today's society especially in my
country
,
people
consider others who work in the cities
are
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to be
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more
success
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successful
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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to the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who pursue traditional
profesions
Correct your spelling
professions
in
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
. Even when your income is less than what you get as a traditional farmer or
fisher
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fisherman
show examples
,
people
in your hometown will still worship you. The cruel reality is hard to get a
job
these day
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this day
these days
show examples
because the number of productive
people
that seeking for
job
are
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is
show examples
multiples time than the
job
offers in
market
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the market
show examples
.
It's
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the
nurmber
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number
of criminal cases because many
people
choose to do bad things in order to live. So what is the solution for
this
phenomena
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phenomenon
show examples
? I think
its
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it's
it is
show examples
important to
rise
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raise
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness that working as
farmer
Correct article usage
a farmer
show examples
or fisherman is a noble
job
because
at the end
of the
day
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day,
show examples
we need food
in
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on
show examples
our table. Without
people
who
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
to produce it,
then
all of us will
starving
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starve
be starving
show examples
to death. The price of food will significantly increase and food will be a luxurious thing. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there is no guarantee that working in the cities will give you prosper life because it's not that easy to get a
job
these day
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this day
these days
show examples
. We need to look at the resources in
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
as a blessing and start to set a mindset that working as
farmer
Correct article usage
a farmer
show examples
or fisherman is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
job
.
Submitted by fadhlannaufaall on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses both parts of the question by discussing the problems of urban migration in detail and offering a broader range of solutions. Remember to develop your main points with clear, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, work on organizing your ideas more logically, using clear paragraphs to separate different ideas. Include an introductory sentence for each paragraph and use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to provide a clear introduction that outlines the problems you will discuss and an effective conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your solutions. This will ensure that your essay has a strong opening and closing, and that it remains focused throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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