IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

More people now have children later in life. What are some of the reasons for this phenomenon?

#people #children #life #phenomenon
Many people are now considering
to postponed
Wrong verb form
postponing
show examples
 having their children
due to
 the fact that the price of
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
 is soaring
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Similarly
, healthcare has
becoming
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 much more expensive and education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 becoming more exclusive.
Hence
, people are starting to put much more
emphasize
Replace the word
emphasis
show examples
 on financial stability and would rather conceive children when they are ready to do so.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score in 'coherence and cohesion', ensure that your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
To enhance the 'task achievement' criterion, expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples. Answer all parts of the question fully, demonstrating an ability to discuss concepts and justify opinions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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