IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life
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Celebrities always draw public attention. Their private lives triggers heated discussion on the Internet, seducing people to probe their pravicy. The argument that whether famous people should live have a personal life under the spotlight is both agreed and disagreed by many. The two sides of
this
 argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in
this
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, including well-organized paragraphs that flow smoothly from one idea to the next. Use linking words to help connect ideas and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state the topic and outline the main points to be discussed. Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes the discussion and states your own opinion clearly.
task achievement
For task achievement, expand on your ideas by providing a more detailed discussion and implementing specific examples to support your arguments. Present balanced views and analyze them before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a clear view or opinion that is supported by relevant examples and specific details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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