In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

#countries #crime #rates #teenagers #groups

The rate of criminal

activities

among young adults is higher than among other age categories,

this

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a result of high unemployment rates, abuse of drugs and living in dangerous environments.

However

, to solve

this

problem the

government

and local communities need to provide job and studying

opportunies

Correct your spelling

opportunities

, stop the

drug

problem and provide educational programs among the youth. Countries with higher unemployment rates tend to experience higher crime rates among

teenagers

This

is because when the youth have no jobs to sustain them financially they can end up engaging in

criminial

Correct your spelling

criminal

acts

such

as robberies and fraudulent behaviours to get money and satisfy their needs and wants even though some of them have guardians and families who look after them.

Moreover

, it has been proved and reported that when youths are under the influence of alcohol and drugs they tend to be more violent and their appetite to break the law will be at its peak.

For

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

many criminal

activities

that are mostly reported in certain countries are because the victims will be under the influence of toxic substances.

Lastly

teenagers

who are born in cities and homes

were

Correct your spelling

where

show examples

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are exposed to a lot of crime

activities

usually end up following the same pattern. For illustration, if a child is born in a house

were

Correct your spelling

where

show examples

one of their

parent

Change to a plural noun

parents

show examples

is abused by the other partner they

also

grow up and face the same problems in future. Despite these

problems

Add a comma

problems,

show examples

the

government

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society can come together to tackle the skyrocketing criminal

activities

among

teenagers

through

Change preposition

show examples

increasing

opportunies

Correct your spelling

opportunities

for them. The

government

should formulate policies that are meant to attract both local and foreign investment thereby boosting employment prospects.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

it can provide scholarships for the

underpriveledged

Correct your spelling

underprivileged

so that they can go back to school and

quite

Correct your spelling

quit

show examples

criminal

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

Additionally

, the

government

should run campaigns and introduce tight laws against both

drug

cartels and addicts.

For example

by providing free education on the side effects of drugs in all schools. Criminal rate

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to be higher in

teenagers

than in any other age

groups

Fix the agreement mistake

group

show examples

in many countries because of lack of employment, exposure to unfavourable environments and

drug

abuse

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

however

, the

government

and ordinary citizens together need to join forces and tackle

this

problem through boosting job

opportunies

Correct your spelling

opportunities

and banning

drug

use.

Submitted by karigaruvimbo on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve in task achievement, expand on your ideas and ensure that each point you make is developed fully. Rather than simply listing causes and solutions, delve deeper into each one, explaining the connection between cause and effect more clearly. Include a wider range of examples to support each cause and solution.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more effectively. Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Also, use a range of cohesive devices to help link ideas together. Overall, a more structured approach to paragraphing will help to present your arguments in a way that's easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

387 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As well as making money, businesses also have social resonsibilities, To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some hold the view that ideas and information should be completely open-there should be no controls on what people can read and watch in the media (TV, newspapers, Internet). Do you agree with this view, or do you think that in some circumstances governments should limit the freedom of the media?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+