In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?

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The rate of criminal
activities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

among young adults is higher than among other age categories,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a result of high unemployment rates, abuse of drugs and living in dangerous environments.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and local communities need to provide job and studying
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want opportunies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, stop the
drug
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problem and provide educational programs among the youth. Countries with higher unemployment rates tend to experience higher crime rates among
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because when the youth have no jobs to sustain them financially they can end up engaging in
criminial
Correct your spelling
criminal

If you don’t want criminial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

acts
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as robberies and fraudulent behaviours to get money and satisfy their needs and wants even though some of them have guardians and families who look after them.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has been proved and reported that when youths are under the influence of alcohol and drugs they tend to be more violent and their appetite to break the law will be at its peak.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add a comma
instance,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For instance. Consider adding a comma.

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many criminal
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that are mostly reported in certain countries are because the victims will be under the influence of toxic substances.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who are born in cities and homes
were
Correct your spelling
where

The word were doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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there
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are exposed to a lot of crime
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

usually end up following the same pattern. For illustration, if a child is born in a house
were
Correct your spelling
where

The word were doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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one of their
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents

The singular countable noun parent follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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is abused by the other partner they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

grow up and face the same problems in future. Despite these
problems
Add a comma
problems,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Despite these problems. Consider adding a comma.

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the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society can come together to tackle the skyrocketing criminal
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

among
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

through
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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increasing
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want opportunies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for them. The
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should formulate policies that are meant to attract both local and foreign investment thereby boosting employment prospects.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Also. Consider adding a comma.

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it can provide scholarships for the
underpriveledged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged

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so that they can go back to school and
quite
Correct your spelling
quit

The word quite doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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criminal
activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should run campaigns and introduce tight laws against both
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cartels and addicts.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

by providing free education on the side effects of drugs in all schools. Criminal rate
tend
Change the verb form
tends

The plural verb tend does not appear to agree with the singular subject Criminal rate. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to be higher in
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

than in any other age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group

It seems that groups may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in many countries because of lack of employment, exposure to unfavourable environments and
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

abuse
but
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and ordinary citizens together need to join forces and tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem through boosting job
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want opportunies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and banning
drug
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

use.

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Task Achievement
To improve in task achievement, expand on your ideas and ensure that each point you make is developed fully. Rather than simply listing causes and solutions, delve deeper into each one, explaining the connection between cause and effect more clearly. Include a wider range of examples to support each cause and solution.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more effectively. Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Also, use a range of cohesive devices to help link ideas together. Overall, a more structured approach to paragraphing will help to present your arguments in a way that's easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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