government should spend more money on recreation rather than education.do you agree or disagree

#government #money #recreation #education

Ongoing,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical activities and counselling are the fundamental aspects of society, Many people

suggested

Wrong verb form

suggest

show examples

that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should invest in schools rather than sports.

This

essay partially agrees with

this

statement. On the one hand education budget is a long-term goal. In detail,after the long

run

Add a comma

run,

show examples

you get superior yield in return from adults in future.

Moreover

, the great tutoring produces many options of employment and takes a part in the development of any country.

Secondly

, the funds for the study help to improve infrastructure. To elaborate, the capital investment is used to build more institutions for better adragogy.

Furthermore

this

finance utility will hire quality tutors from abroad and better study is a right of every citizen.

On the other hand

, the funds of the country for sports help to encourage health complications. To illustrate, fitness complications are a need of every person. Nowadays, everybody wants to maintain health by playing games.

This

only happens when organizations hold tournaments and fundraising for athletes.At

last

, the Olympic activities play a vital role in income generation. It comes from international tourism and

such

funds help our sportsmen for quality outcomes.

For instance

according to

the report published by the Times during the Fifa World Cup 2022, Qatar generated 350 million dollars from foreign travellers. It can be concluded that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the potential for pedagogy is useful in our future.

However

, the remarkable physical activity cannot be ignored.

Submitted by hussas614 on Tue Jan 30 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer stance in your introduction. Instead of saying 'partially agrees,' specify to what extent and why you agree or disagree to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated upon, providing cohesive support to your arguments. Try to avoid jumping between ideas within paragraphs.

task achievement

To better support your points, use more specific examples and data. While mentioning the Fifa World Cup is a good start, giving more concrete examples would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay and reaffirm your position, providing a clear resolution to your argument. Make sure it encapsulates all the aspects discussed.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to help the essay flow naturally from one point to the next. Use terms that indicate contrast, cause and effect, or adding information appropriately.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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government should spend more money on recreation rather than education.do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

Fewer and fewer people want to become teachers especially in secondary schools. Why this happening and what can be done to tackle this problem?

More and more plastic waste has polluted cities, the countryside and oceans. What problem does it cause and what measures can be taken?

Some people view conflict between teenagers and parents as a necessary part of growing up, while others view it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.