IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the number of heat-related illness suffered by high school students per 100 000 sports events in central US states. The line graph shows the average temperatures for one year in a central US state. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of heat-related illness suffered by high school students per 100 000 sports events in central US states. The line graph shows the average temperatures for one year in a central US state. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar chart and line graph offer insights into the occurrences of heat-related
illnesses
Use synonyms
 among high school students during sports events in central US states,
as well as
Linking Words
 the average temperatures throughout the
year
Use synonyms
 in a central US state. The bar chart depicts the
number
Use synonyms
 of
illnesses
Use synonyms
 per 100,000 sports events, with the horizontal
axis
Use synonyms
 representing the
months
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 and the vertical
axis
Use synonyms
 indicating the
number
Use synonyms
 of
illnesses
Use synonyms
, ranging from 0 to 70. The highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
illnesses
Use synonyms
, almost 70, was recorded in August,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
illnesses
Use synonyms
, 0, occurred in February. Notably, there was a significant drop in September, with only 13 cases, followed by a slight decrease in the subsequent
months
Use synonyms
 until December. The line graph showcases two lines representing the average temperatures throughout the
year
Use synonyms
 in a central US state. The horizontal
axis
Use synonyms
 indicates the
months
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the vertical
axis
Use synonyms
 displays the
temperature
Use synonyms
. The
temperature
Use synonyms
 steadily rises from January, reaching its peak in July. Following July, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 gradually decreases. In conclusion, the bar chart demonstrates a correlation between the
number
Use synonyms
 of heat-related
illnesses
Use synonyms
 and the
months
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, with a peak in August and a significant drop in September. The line graph exhibits the
temperature
Use synonyms
 pattern throughout the
year
Use synonyms
, with a steady increase from January to July, followed by a gradual decrease.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words illnesses, year, number, axis, months, temperature with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: