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Band 5

Q) The Internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#q #internet #mankind
Social media is regarded as a privilege for human beings. The benefits
such
 as
business to
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business-to-business
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business
 transactions, communication
tool
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tools
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 and learning
platform
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platforms
show examples
 totally
overide
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawbacks of
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
 and addiction. Even though the
internet
 has proved to be more useful to
people
, it has
it's
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its
show examples
 own negative side. A lot of
people
 suffer from cyber bullying especially the less advantaged
people
 like disabled
people
 and other public figures.
For example
, deaf
people
 are often attacked and humiliated by bullies on
instagram
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Instagram
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 through negative comments.
Additionally
, the
internet
 is negatively affecting many
people
 especially young adults as they spend most of their time browsing different sites that are unproductive. For illustration, some game and application programmers design
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 that are very addictive. Despite the negatives of the
internet
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internet,
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 the cons are exceeded by the pros. Since the
internet
 was developed in the past years, communication has become very easier
especially
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, especially
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 over long distances. Social media allows families and friends who are many thousand miles away from each other to interact daily even though they
cant
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can't
show examples
 meet physically .
For instance
,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
 messenger provides a free platform to call and chat between two or more
people
 thereby uniting families.
Business
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Businesses
show examples
has
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have
show examples
 seen a spike in revenue
as a result
 of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 through mass advertising which targets customers beyond foreign
boarders
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borders
show examples
 and easier
business to
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business-to-business
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business
 transactions.
Lastly
, the
internet
 is a
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 source of information for educational activities. It has become very convenient to search and download books on the
internet
 with just a click.
For
example
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example,
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people
 no longer need to visit the library or job centers in person to look for jobs. Even though the
internet
 has many demerits like
cyberbullyin
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cyberbullying
cyber bullying
 and addiction,
however
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however,
show examples
 they are
exceded
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exceeded
show examples
 by the merits of communication
tool
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tools
show examples
, convenient
source
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sources
show examples
 of information and
business to
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business-to-business
show examples
business
transaction
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transactions
show examples
.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay generally structures ideas logically, consider creating clearer paragraph separations and using a wider range of linking words to enhance flow. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and accompanying supporting sentences.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task sufficiently and presents relevant ideas. However, to better meet the task requirements, try to develop your arguments more fully. Provide more detailed examples and clearly state how they support your main points, leading to a more complete response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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