Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe that they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say that they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both points of view and five your own opinion.
Nowadays, the consequences of
computer
games
have been a major topic of debate. While
some people believe that the effectiveness of violence related to these games
is totally harmful, others would argue that it can completely contribute to a sense of relaxation. Both sides of the argument highlight valuable points, which will be discussed, followed by my opinion.
First of all, playing computer
games
such
as online games
containing violence, can result in harmful consequences. In other words
, individuals
particularly teenagers, who are so interested in playing these games
, may significantly lead to a sense of profound desire to experience this
violence in the real world. So, it can yield negative effects on the real world. A prime illustration is the increase in teenage crimes, especially those who spend excessive time on online games
. As a result
, implementing laws in order to decrease the effectiveness of these types of games
is so crucial. Additionally
, the popularity of online games
, particularly among students can gradually lead to hindering their educational success.
On the other hand
, some individuals
argue that playing these games
can offer various benefits, leading to a sense of relaxation. Thus
, they believe that these experiences are essential for people, especially the younger generation. For instance
, a young boy who spends a balanced time through
playing online Change preposition
apply
games
can gradually develop his problem-solving skills, which is essential to becoming successful in his future life challenges. Moreover
, technological progress in the current era has brought countless stress for both individuals
and societies as a whole. Therefore
, if playing computer
games
can lead to mitigating these types of stress, why are people not eager to play them?
In conclusion, although
some individuals
believe that there are various positive effects in terms of playing computer
games
including the development of problem-solving skills, the harmful effects such
as increasing violent crimes among teenagers should not be ignored. I advocate for the second view that playing computer
games
should be banned.Submitted by mahanz on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea and that all sentences within each paragraph support and develop that single idea. This will enhance the clarity and logical development of arguments.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to substantiate claims. This will strengthen the arguments and make the response more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a full circle to the argument and leaving the reader with a clear takeaway.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives on the issue, fulfilling the task requirement of discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Good use of linking words and phrases, helping the reader follow the flow of the argument smoothly.