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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
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The bar graph illustrates the data on the male and female employment rates in six countries in two years, 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a significant increase in the number of male and female
workers
Use synonyms
 in every country in both years. The data show that Iceland had higher average male
workers
Use synonyms
 than other countries. In 1995, the figure for male
workers
Use synonyms
 in Iceland was approximately 70%, and
then
Linking Words
 It increased to 85% in 2005. In the second place, there was Switzerland as the country with the average male
workers
Use synonyms
 at about 65% in 1995 and it grew up to around 78% in 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Switzerland had a higher average of female
workers
Use synonyms
 than other countries in both years. In 1995, the number of female
workers
Use synonyms
 reached 55% and it increased to 65% in 2005. In second place was the USA with the number of female
workers
Use synonyms
 more than 40% in 1995 and
then
Linking Words
 it had a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 to 60% in 2005. .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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