Write about the following topic: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present
days
, social status and wealth Fix the agreement mistake
day
becomes
the success parameter as rich Change the verb form
become
people
and high-ranked individuals are more andmired
. Correct your spelling
admired
This
makes human values such
as trustworthiness, friendliness, and honour to be less appreciated. In this
brief essay, I will describe how things have happened resulting to
Change preposition
in
this
phenomenon.
The first thing that has caused this
is the wrong education given by parents and schools. In Indonesia
children are taught to study hard to be Add a comma
Indonesia,
parts
of the governmental apparatus in the future Fix the agreement mistake
part
instead
of pursuing their own dreams. For example
, I still remember when I graduated from an informal school back in Change the word
my
the
elementary days, a friend of mine wrote in his graduation book that his dream was to become a civil servant Correct pronoun usage
my
while
others
dreamed to become
football players or detectives. The poor child had to be taught by his environment as it was impossible for children Change preposition
of becoming
in
the same age to have the thought to work for money with the government.
The second cause of Change preposition
of
this
incident is the rise of social media
. It has become a platform for people
to show their superficial story
, usually only the good ones, in order to be appreciated by Fix the agreement mistake
stories
others
. Over time, the life
of a successful person on social media
has become a new standard for others
to live the same life
. With more accessible internet and devices, nowadays social media
usage can even be seen in children and they would copy things that others
do as shown on their phone screens. Unfortunately, life
ethics are tought
not as much as glamorous Correct your spelling
taught
life
on
the Change preposition
in
media
. As it becomes a daily consumption, people
would be more individualistic to achieve “success” defined by others
.
To sum up
, that
a person judged Correct word choice
apply
according to
social status and material possessions is not due to
nothing
. Misleading education and increased social Correct pronoun usage
anything
media
usage are possible causes on
why Change preposition
of
people
would try to chase wealth and positions instead
of basic values.Submitted by muhammadrajiefarza on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay in a clear format with a distinguishable introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea followed by specific examples or explanations to reinforce your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your points and a restatement of your position to reinforce the message of the essay.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly and ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and fully answer all parts of the question.
Task Achievement
Enhance task response by consistently maintaining focus on the question posed and ensure that all arguments and examples are directly relevant to the topic.
Task Achievement
Introduce a wider range of specific examples and personal experiences to illustrate your points more effectively, adding further depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
