Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

#people #parents #time #work #children #support #answers

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An increasing number of

parents

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spending their

time

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at work leads to some issues regarding communication with their kids. Having taken other solutions into consideration, I agree with

this

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perspective and

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will elucidate with several reasons and explanations. Many

parents

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nowadays both work in the office,

thus

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more than eight hours during the weekdays they are separated from their

children

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and only the weekend left.

However

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this

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circumstance

cause

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causes

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problems

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towards their

children

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's social development, because their

parents

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utilize mobile phones for

children

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's entertainment. Screen

time

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Remove the comma

apply

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is an activity of

children

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who spend a lot of

time

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watching

smart phones

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smartphones

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or television,

this

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activity is considered

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apply

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the root cause of these social

problems

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For example

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children

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are

stricted

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restricted

to watching YouTube for no more than 2 hours per day, because it could impact overstimulated and inhibit their brain development. Another reason regarding

this

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issue is, that

parents

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rarely have

time

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to have small talk with their

children

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. As simple as, asking about their day, activities at school or their friendship relationship.

Hence

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, a problem may occur because of a lack of bonding between

parents

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and

children

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such

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parents

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not being aware of their

children

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problems

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As a consequence

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, many

children

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are never

orafraid

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afraid

or afraid

to share their thoughts and opinions with their

parents

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, because they believe that they do not care or never heard them. Take bullying as an example, many bullied kids are fear to confess it to

parents

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or teachers,

hence

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they are at risk get mental health

problems

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. In conclusion, the

problems

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faced by

children

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with busy

parents

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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communication and openness. I,

therefore

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, remain firmly convinced that working

parents

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could be the factor of

children

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's social

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

Submitted by 2024successielts on Wed Jan 31 2024

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introduction conclusion present

A clear introduction is present, but it lacks a thesis statement that clearly outlines your position. Consider adding a sentence that explicitly states your opinion.

supported main points

The essay tends to generalize instead of exploring ideas in depth. Be sure to develop your points fully and explain how they specifically relate to the question.

supported main points

Make sure each body paragraph contains one main idea that is explored in depth, supported by specific examples and explanations

complete response

The essay addresses the question, but there are areas where you could expand upon how parents' working hours directly lead to social problems among children. Elaborate on this causal relationship with more specific examples.

logical structure

The structure of the essay is adequate, but transitions between paragraphs could be improved. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas are related to the topic, but they could be articulated more clearly and comprehensively. Use more complex sentence structures and vocabulary to express ideas with clarity.

relevant specific examples

Include more precise examples to illustrate your points. Rather than just stating generalities, describe detailed scenarios or cite studies that show the impact of parental absence on children's social development.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Parental absenteeism
Youth delinquency
Social development
Work-life balance
Family-friendly policies
Substance abuse
Mental health issues
Influencers
Mitigate
Interventions
Quality time
Family dynamics
Socio-economic factors
Alternative care
Behavioral problems
Social services
Parent-child interaction
Civic engagement
Peer pressure
Digital parenting

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Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work that with their children To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answers.

art classes, such as paintings and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in the society, while others think that individuals can have alot of influence. What is your opinion?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.