IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing prices have been proliferating in the
last
Linking Words
 few years, some people opine that the
government
Use synonyms
 should allocate free housing facilities.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others said that it is not the
government
Use synonyms
's duty to take care
of
Correct pronoun usage
of it
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views in the following paragraphs and my personal opinion is in the conclusion. Conspicuously, there are several circumstances where the high authorities of the
nation
Use synonyms
 should allow
no cost
Add a hyphen
no-cost
show examples
 accommodation.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civil servants, army officers and soldiers should get free housing
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 as they protect our
nation
Use synonyms
 internally and externally in adverse circumstances.
The
Correct article usage
Government
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 jobs mainly do not offer lucrative
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 employees so it would be hard to purchase
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 house nowadays.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should offer free accommodation for the victims of natural calamities
such
Linking Words
 as
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 and
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people have home insurance but the insurance companies do not compensate their customers under the "Act of God" clause
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why in
such
Linking Words
 cases the
government
Use synonyms
 should come forward.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 needs to develop
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
temporary aid for indigenous people so they can
also
Linking Words
 dream
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their first house.
However
Linking Words
, there are some thoughts
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 insist
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
focus on
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other side as well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, housing is an individual responsibility. Just because someone is working for the
nation
Use synonyms
's development
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
does not mean the
government
Use synonyms
 should give free housing
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 on top of their monthly income.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
 the stress of individual housing as there are other major concerns in the
nation
Use synonyms
 which require undivided attention
such
Linking Words
 as
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 inflation rate, crime rate and terrorism. In conclusion, as per the aforementioned
points
Add a comma
points,
show examples
 I believe that the
no cost
Add a hyphen
no-cost
show examples
 housing advantage is
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
 to the higher
government
Use synonyms
 employees for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 temporary period only and invest
remaining
Add an article
the remaining
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in the welfare of the citizens.

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introduction
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction that presents the topics that will be discussed. Your introduction could use a clearer roadmap of the essay contents.
coherence
Work on developing a more logical flow to your ideas. Try to connect your sentences and paragraphs using cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed and clearly states your opinion, with a conclusive statement that mirrors the introduction.
task response
To achieve a higher task achievement score, ensure your response fully addresses all components of the task. Include a balanced discussion of both views and develop your own opinion throughout the essay.
examples
Use specific examples to support your main points. These examples should be detailed and relevant to the point you're trying to make.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic living standards
  • social equality
  • economic growth
  • disposable income
  • sustainable/sustainability
  • taxes
  • quality of housing
  • private sector
  • government intervention
  • innovation
  • efficiency
  • affordable housing
  • self-sufficiency
What to do next:
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