the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans

the diagram below shows the steps followed by recycled aluminum cans
The flow chart illustrates a series of steps involved in the recycling of
cans
until they can be reused as new
cans
.
Overall
, the whole procedure for
aluminium
Correct article usage
the aluminium
show examples
recycling process entails a total of seven steps, starting with collecting
cans
and culminating with producing new
cans
.
Moreover
, the process requires the
useof
Correct your spelling
use of
a number of specialized pieces of machinery, including a shorting and melting machine. As the flow chart shows,
the first step is
stated by people separating their waste into dedicated trash boxes only for
aluminium
cans
.
Then
the trash will be collected by a dump truck,
then
transferred to the dump centre and start the process of cleaning, shorting, shredding and compressing
machine
Correct article usage
the machine
show examples
. Afterwards, all of the can's waste started to heat and melt. In the fifth part, the melted
cans
are shaped into a roll of
aluminium
2.5mm - 6mm thick. The
aluminium
sheets are the base ingredient and
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
to be shaped into new
cans
.
Lastly
, recycled
cans
can be used for sodas, and 74% of
cans
in the UK are made from recycled
cans
.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans, aluminium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: