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Writing Samples
Band 4

OPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

#opic #years #structure #role #members #kinds #changes
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Change a common part of life. In
this
 era, changes in the household structure and members'
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 are inevitable.
This
 shift in the structure and roles results in some consequences. In
this
 essay, I will explain my reasons why I think these changes provide
positives
Change the noun form
positive
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 impacts. First of all, nowadays, society is
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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 about equality degree between men and women. Many husbands take
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 role
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
husband
Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
show examples
, doing home
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 children.
While
 wives go to work and become
backbone
Add an article
the backbone
show examples
 of the family.
Submitted by helainhye2 on

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Introduction
Make sure to present a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
Paragraph Structure
Develop each main point in a separate paragraph, ensuring that there is a clear central topic in each.
Supporting Details
Provide concrete examples and explanations to support your main points.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and your personal viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical flow and the ideas are connected with appropriate linking words.
Task Response
Cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly, including the types of changes and discussing positive and negative aspects of these changes.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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