People use the Internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the Internet for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

In
this
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
era,
due to
the advancement of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
everyone has access to
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
and people use it for different purposes on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis. Online usage for medical advice is
also
become common which
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
energy and time . To commence with ,there are several reasons why people are using
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
for medical treatment . First of all, people are
swaped
Correct your spelling
swapped
in their daily life they do not have time to see a doctor for regular
check-up
Fix the agreement mistake
check-ups
show examples
thus
, they avoid
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
physical in their clinics or hospitals and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
virtual
mettings
Correct your spelling
meetings
.
Hence
, they are able to save their valuable time , energy and cost of travel.
For instance
, after
corona
Correct your spelling
the coronavirus
show examples
pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
show examples
it become common to take advice from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physicians on phone and
video
Change preposition
via video
show examples
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
. In my opinion, it
put
Verb problem
has
show examples
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
show examples
impact on the patient's health because sometimes patients are not able to explain their condition online and become depressed and stressed out
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may lead
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
medical condition worse .
Moreover
, the motivation and encouragement provided by the experts will bring positivity
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their lives.
Futuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, some
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
are only performed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospitals which
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
surgery, ultrasound and
x-rays
Change the capitalization
X-rays
show examples
.
To conclude
, seeing doctors online
imay
Correct your spelling
may
be
useful
Add an article
a useful
show examples
thing for minor health conditions but not that
alm
Correct your spelling
all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases can be treated
while
staying at home . All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals must see their family doctors in order to maintain their good health.
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve the score in 'logical structure', ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the one before. Use transition phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and conclusion that clearly state the essay's main position and summarize the key points. The introduction should outline the topics to be discussed, and the conclusion should reiterate the stance without adding new information.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the main points in your essay have supporting details and explanations. Expand on each point with examples or further reasoning to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully. Make sure to explore why people use the Internet for medical advice, as well as discuss both the positive and negative aspects of this development in detail.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Expand on the reasons and consequences, both positive and negative, ensuring that each is well-supported and clearly explained.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and varied examples that specifically illustrate the points you are making. This could be hypothetical scenarios, references to studies, or anecdotal evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: