IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
#line #changes #amount #type #junk #food #australian #teenagers
The line chart given
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 information
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 much teenagers
eat of
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 fast food between 1975 and 2000 in Australia
Overall
,
humbergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
 and pizza
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always rose until the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
while
 fish and chip
was decrease
Change the verb form
was decreased
was decreasing
show examples
.
To begin
, hamburgers increased significantly the number of eaten around 68
times
 from 1975 to 1985. Followed next was
peak
Add an article
a peak
the peak
show examples
 at 100
times
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 per year. Hamburgers
was never drop
Change the verb form
was never dropped
was never dropping
show examples
 even just a few.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, in 1975 pizza
was skyrocket
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
show examples
 to 1995 which has more than 88
times
 the number of meals.
Moreover
, a year later it
was remain
Change the verb form
remained
show examples
 steady at above 80.
On the other hand
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of data
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1975 fish and
chip
Fix the agreement mistake
chips
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest
times
 consumption which was 100. But, it always
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 until ended of
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 and reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest point at 40. Except between1980 and 1985, it has slight rise around 15
times
.
Furthermore
, in the
last
 15 years, ish and chip
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 dramatically
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
.
Submitted by adhansdaily on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Dip
  • Steady growth
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Consumption patterns
  • Fast food
  • Processed snacks
  • Health consciousness
  • Marketing influence
  • Demographic factors
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Epidemiological impact
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