Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are individuals who argue for prohibiting children from using their
phones
while
at
school
,
while
others advocate for permitting children to
use
their
phones
during
school
hours. I believe that there are no justifications for
this
. As
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
developed significantly over the
last
5 years, individuals including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
may access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information through their
phones
easily.
In addition
,
students
may
use
their
phones
in
class
to find additional resources, which can benefit their learning process.
In addition
, current smartphone provides various features to foster education
such
as automatic notes by voice,
camera
Correct article usage
a camera
show examples
to capture
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
from the
white board
Correct your spelling
whiteboard
show examples
, or
smart
Correct article usage
a smart
show examples
calculator to solve more complex
calculation
Fix the agreement mistake
calculations
show examples
. In India,
students
need to bring their
phones
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
class
in order to do their tasks.
However
, these
students
may easily get distracted
due to
their
phones
, every time they open their
phones
, their focus will be lost if there are notifications popping up. Even worse, these kids
use
their
phones
to play games with their friends in
class
,
consequently
, they do not follow the lessons from their
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
.
For instance
, many parents in Jakarta
high
Correct your spelling
High School
show examples
school
Add a missing verb
were surprise
show examples
surprise
Replace the word
surprised
show examples
that their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
dropped and found out that their kids
playing
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
a game quietly during the
class
. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
should embrace the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
updated technologies
such
as
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
while
school
may ask their
students
to activate some features in their
iPhone
Fix the agreement mistake
iPhones
show examples
such
as
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
off
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
notifications, and only able to receive messages
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
selected contacts, in order to
use
the phone wisely at
school
.
Submitted by dickyoktarizaldi on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you discuss both sides of the argument equally and thoroughly to maintain balance in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly and cohesively, using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Elaborate more on each point with specific examples and clear explanations to strengthen the supporting arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure you include a clear personal opinion in the conclusion, following the discussion of both views.
Task Achievement
Avoid unsubstantiated generalizations by providing concrete evidence or examples for your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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