The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
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The map illustrates the centre of Paris city with two proposed locations for a new restaurant of a company. In general, the first suggestion is to put the restaurant right in the city's north. The position would be the west side of a park, behind the Maritime Museum which lies across the Right Bank River. In comparison, the second plan is to build it on the south side, exactly right-side of the Eiffel Tower across the River Seine. As for the first site, the potential visitors would be 8.000 and 2.000 (from the museum and the Aquarium respectively) which are located in the east of it. There is
also
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a possibility of 500 people coming from the Sports Centre through the Bir-Hakeim Bridge that connects the area to the south part. Meanwhile, the second alternative will probably generate more customers as the landmark already has 16.000 daily visitors.
In addition
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, right at the southeast of the site, there is an Art Gallery which visited by 750 people. The people from the Sports Centre could
also
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choose to visit
this
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one.
Submitted by pramestime on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
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