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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Education is not a luxury but a basic human righ and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #luxury #righ #wealth
It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
 that
education
 is the fundamental right of
society
 and must be accessible to everyone without their wealth status.In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with
this
 statement and provide coherent examples to support my position.
Firstly
, the major benefit of
education
 for all is it removes the discrimination between rich and poor.
This
 means if a child belongs to a poor family and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gets
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal educational facilities he may become a doctor and engineer in future and
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 the living conditions of his family.
For example
,
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 research published in an article shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 70% of
society
enjoy
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoys
show examples
 a better life if their children are provided
education
Change preposition
with education
show examples
.
Moreover
, with no stress of fees and expense of
tuition
Add a comma
tuition,
show examples
 the performance of an individual becomes double.
Thus
,
education
 plays a critical role
to mitigate
Change preposition
in mitigating
show examples
 the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 high and low status in
society
.
Secondly
,
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in literacy rate assists in
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 development of a
country
.
This
 is because when the number of literate
people
high
Add a missing verb
is high
show examples
 in
society
 the
country
 will get
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 skilled labour force and it leads to nation growth and progress.
For instance
, it is noticed that countries with high literacy
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 are more developed as compared to nations which has less educated
people
.
Therefore
, educated
people
 like bankers,
piolt
Correct your spelling
pilot
pilots
,
teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
show examples
 serve the state by getting higher
education
. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, if
education
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 available to everyone without any cost, it
has
Verb problem
would
show examples
 only
pros
Add a missing verb
have pros
show examples
 like,
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
 in
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy and
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
show examples
 the status differences among
people
.So,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree that
education
 plays the backbone role in a
country
 to make progress by providing
skilled
Add an article
a skilled
show examples
 workforce.
Submitted by kashif.gujjar0700 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with a single idea focus for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to have introduction and conclusion paragraphs. Make your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more summarizing, reiterating the main arguments of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you elaborate and fully support your main points with relevant examples or further explanation within each paragraph to make the argument stronger.
task achievement
Make sure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. You addressed the main topic but could have provided a more balanced argument by considering counterarguments or discussing the implications of free education.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas by explaining the reasons behind your arguments in depth and ensuring they are easy to follow.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, but try to provide specific details that are accurate and fully illustrate your point. Be wary of making general claims without evidence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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