Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The issue of whether
zoos
should be closed down or not has caused a lot of controversy. Some
people
believe that
zoos
are cruel to
animals
because they disrespect the
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
of
animals
and are very dangerous to humans,
however
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
others argue that they can be important in safeguarding wild
animals
. I personally
side
with those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are against the closing down of
zoos
. Some
people
articulate that
zoos
restrict the freedom of
animals
. They say that wild
animals
are natural travellers that can travel thousands of miles each and every year
therefore
putting them in a small space restricts their freedom. They believe that,
for instance
, many
zoos
are overcrowded and it causes animal anxiety and depression affecting their
overall
wellbeing.
Moreover
, they point out that some
animals
in
zoos
pose harm to visitors as they can end up attacking them.
For example
, one young adult in Zimbabwe was attacked by crocodiles in
a local
Correct the article-noun agreement
local zoos
a local zoo
show examples
zoos
leading to death.
Therefore
,
this
side
argues that
zoos
should be closed down in order to save both wildlife and human beings.
However
,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some
people
point out that
zoos
are very useful in protecting wildlife. These
people
believe that when
animals
are kept in
zoos
, it saves them from local poachers who
recklesly
Correct your spelling
recklessly
kill them for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
while
also
protecting the endangered species
to go
Change preposition
from going
show examples
extinct. Innocent flightless birds, for illustration, can live for long when they are put into
zoos
. I personally
side
with those that are against the closure of
zoos
because they have safeguarded many
animals
from
preditors
Correct your spelling
predators
show examples
and poachers even though they like these
animals
for food. In conclusion,
this
debate will remain a heated one as some humans believe that
zoos
go against the freedom of
animals
whereas
the other
side
argues that
zoos
can keep endangered
animals
safe from both
preditors
Correct your spelling
predators
show examples
and poachers.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction provides clear background to the topic and presents the essay's position in a more structured manner. This will set the stage for the reader to understand your perspective.
logical structure
Organize your ideas into clear and logical paragraphs, each containing a single main idea and supporting sentences that relate directly to this idea. Avoid overcrowding paragraphs with multiple points.
supported main points
Develop your main points fully by providing specific examples and clear explanations. Avoid general statements by expanding on your ideas with detailed information.
complete response
Provide a clear answer to the essay question in the introduction and conclusion. Make your opinion unmistakable to the reader without them having to search for it.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more effectively, using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
relevant specific examples
Elaborate more on your ideas with precise examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay needs more comprehensive development of ideas. Each paragraph should explain the point in-depth, analyze its implications, and relate it back to the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
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