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Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
It seems that the
transportation
 modes over decades will transform into an auto-generating system, where
people
 become passengers rather than drivers. Either public transport or private cars, like buses, trucks, and cars will not be driven by humans anymore. I strongly agree that it will be more beneficial for humans in their life purposes, which will be explained more in detail in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, having an automatic car is probably necessary for
people
 to be more effective and efficient in time-consuming hiring a driver. It cannot
be deny
Change the verb form
be denied
show examples
 that it is difficult to spend time searching for someone who can be a dedicated personal driver.
In addition
, not only the manpower but
also
 the financial cost that we should consider so that travelling with a
driverless
 car has to be efficient for
people
.
Although
 buying an automatic car might be expensive, I believe that it brings advantages after all in terms of time management.
Furthermore
, the second advantage of the development of
driverless
transportation
 modes is the range of safe transport. We might acknowledge that vehicle producers should prepare a safer
auto- generating
Correct your spelling
auto-generating
show examples
 system for passengers
while
 using
transportation
. It is
also
 more accessible for diverse
people
 who cannot drive to travel from one to another places.
For example
, most electric trains are now
driverless
 which allows
people
 from children to the elderly can move faster and feel safer.
Hence
, they will have more options to choose whether they want to use private or public transport since all of it
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
driverless
.
To sum up
, the technology has been researched to be implemented in creating a
driverless
 vehicle in the future. There is a potential for disadvantages like a failed system, which I believe can be tested before going public. After all, the benefits of
driverless
 vehicles outweigh the negative sides, like helping
people
 to manage their travelling time efficiently and
safety
Replace the word
safely
show examples
 first using a variety of
transportation
 modes.
Submitted by anastania.melinda on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles to provide a balanced discussion, as the prompt requires.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed examples to support your points. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates clear understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive argument by linking ideas more explicitly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion to clearly reflect the essay's main argument and summarise the key points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
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